twist, snap
by st.concertina
Summary: Sakura is a study in how to fuck up, she's allowed. She's failed so many times it's a joke, but there are some lines that you simply don't cross. "I don't care if you're the Sage of the Six Paths, I don't care if you're Hokage. You have no right."


**entitled:** twist, snap.  
><strong>fandom:<strong> naruto, narusaku, narusasu, sasukarin, basically an inadequate love song for those who suffered (no love for NH or SS here, but this story wasn't created to bash anyone. any resentment poised towards these two completely bullshit unions come from characters themselves.)  
><strong>setting:<strong> this story is anti-ending while still working with the bs the ending gave us. eventual narusaku (no rainbows btw), occupational sasusaku (that turns into eventual platonic partnership), a bit of casual multi-shipping. accidental, unwarranted (come on, maybe a little warranted) OT3ing. initially writing this it started off as really angsty and serious, becamse ridiculous and hysterically _stupid_, then became angsty and serious again. sorry for the whip lash.  
><strong>warnings: <strong>the demon children exist**.** heck, cannon is cannon, it's hell out here. sex, language, violence, adultery. basically keep off if you want your sanity intact and if you don't want to lose all respect for me _and_ your faves. will probs annoy a lot of people regardless of their pairing. everyone is OC because guess what, OC is the new IC. don't look at me, kishi's orders. also come at me with all your butthurt YOU-SALTY-COZ-YOUR-PAIRING-DIDN'T-BECOME-CANNON shit because it's really original, thank you.  
><strong>disclaimer:<strong> i own nothing that isn't already mine  
><strong>notes:<strong> when cannon imitates fanfiction, and fanfiction immitates cannon immitating fanfiction. Its fanception, except that we've _all_ been let down.  
><strong>summary: <strong>Sakura is a study in how to fuck up, she's allowed. She's failed so many times it's a joke, but there are some lines that you simply don't cross. "I don't care if you're the Sage of the Six Paths, I don't care if you're Hokage. You have no right."  
><strong>note:<strong> reminder to keep an open mind in order to enjoy this. i rage-write. I HAVE NOT BETAD BECAUSE THE PAPPARAZI SAY I AM DIFFICULT TO WORK WITH.

* * *

><p>The picture frame, all the times she's picked it up, it's a wonder its not been sanded down to mere slivers. She has rubbed thumb raw on the corner above Sasuke-kun's head.<p>

One day in June her mother broke the glass. It was an accident, she'd been cleaning Sakura's room after Sakura had expressedly told her never to go there. She was fourteen, a little privacy wouldn't be amiss.

She'd heard the tinkle of shards from downstairs. She remembers, she'd been sunning on the porch after the end of one of Tsunade's more vigorous training, she'd been up like a bolt slamming into place.

The back of her mother's dress was a print of lilies, it was pitiful to see her kneeling next to Sakura's dresser with a carpet brush – "Sakura-chan," She said to the shadow in the doorway, "You shouldn't keep this so close to the edge – "

Sakura had felt a towering in her chest, spiraling up so she nearly choked. "Get out, Mom!"

"Don't be rude," in between her mother's silicone gloves was the picture frame, she looked down and brushed the glass off with her rubber fingers. "Both of them brats, good for nothing troublemaker and a pouty deserter. I want to encourage you, Sakura-chan but you should ask the Hokage for another team."

Sakura felt the gaps between her knuckles close, when her fist balled they when white. "Don't touch that."

Her mother exhaled through her sharp little nose, pulling off the smug disapproval only mothers can manage so excellently. "It's just a picture frame. You can get another one."

Sakura felt red climb up her cheeks, her ribs closing so that her breath became shuttery and strange. She didn't want to get another one. She didn't want her mother in her room.

"It was an accident."

"Get out, mom," She breathed, "I'll clean it myself."

Her mother must have seen something in her face, because she obeyed. She set the frame where she'd dropped it, all slow and simple and final. When she got up it was gingerly, Sakura didn't remember a time before then that her mother could actually wince from getting up, like her joints hurt, like she was getting on in age. She worried, she hadn't realized that she'd worry one day.

Sakura's features though were frozen in reproach, too cold and dry for the tears. Her mother edged past her, when she was in the corridor she began to hum. Some catchy old lovesong from one of the civilian radio stations that used to play when Sakura was younger, sitting at the table with her homework, watching her mother split winter peas.

Sakura walked to the picture frame. Ino would call her ridiculous, Sakura has felt ridiculous before – being struck with the moon blind behind her eyes, waking up with cold stone beneath her forearms. There are things she can't protect, even if she dies trying. Naruto can, though. Protect. One day he might die trying.

She brushes the carpet with her open palm, forgetting the brush. Glass sticks to her clammy skin without cutting her, it glitters in the orange light spilling in through the window as the day dies. She turns the frame over in her glittering hands, the picture is undamaged, the scowl on Sasuke-kun's face and Naruto's sharp, sulky glare. She'd been smiling then, between them but not really _between _them. Sakura sees how they look at each other, and she doesn't doubt that Naruto can reach Sasuke-kun in ways she never can, should stop, and should not die trying. She is a paper screen, sheer.

She plucks the tinier shards from the carpet with her hand flat, they stick on her fingers like little thorns, not painful, just little pricks. She's not going to cry over a picture. Naruto promised he'd bring Sasuke-kun back, she does not wonder if, but _when_. She trusts Naruto's promises more than she trusts Sasuke's vengeance. It is not a matter of skill, but a matter of faith.

Naruto had smiled at her, wrapped in the hospital bed. Bandages had cut his face in half, he'd tried and almost died. Sakura always knew she was selfish, she just hadn't realized how much. She didn't know if she could stop.

Naruto's going to come back. She'll show him her hands, beneath the gloves, blemished in kunai scars and the raised skin of her knuckles, she'll have hands like his. Hands that have bled for something, hands for hard work, for sacrifice. She isn't going to wait around and let him carry the weight alone, maybe Sakura forced him, maybe she is just an excuse – but they are a team. Neither of them can live with the idea that the word 'team' means nothing.

It was a pity about the frame though. She wondered if Sasuke kept his and knows better than to hope, and she knows that Naruto has his somewhere, because she knows Naruto.

They'd bought the frames together with Kakashi sensei.

She breaks off the rest of the glass still clinging to the edges of the picture and picks the brush. She'll get the glass replaced. Its bad luck to break glass, or was that mirrors? She isn't sure. She brushes her knuckles under the skin of one bleary eye and laughs.

Whatever the odds, she knows that one knuckleheaded ninja is her gamble.

* * *

><p>Sakura lifts a shoulder in a light shrug, twisting the sake bottle in front of her so that the condensation on the table turns into several, milky half-moons. She hadn't been in the Hokage Tower without being in an assisting capacity for years…were the coasters still where she left them?<p>

"Sakura-chan," Naruto grins wickedly, he's teasing her. The last time he teased her she'd had her palms pressed against his back and his father's reanimated corpse smiling sheepishly at them. "What're you thinking so hard about?"

"I'm happy," Sakura lifts the sake bottle, she pauses to study the stamp on its bottom and sets it back down. "Nice brand, by the way. Well, I was thinking that I'm happy. I was happy when you had Bolt because he looked so much like you, practically a clone and I knew you'd be a great dad. I was happy when you got married because you finally got someone who would stand by your side."

"You stood by my side."

Sakura meets his somber eyes, a smile pulls faintly at the corners of her mouth. "You stood by mine too."

They smile at each other, strange and still. Sakura thinks that falling back into this easy friendliness should be strange, because they areeight years too late to be able to pick up where they left off. The lines between them couldn't be clearer if they'd been drawn with red paint. There's nothing to do but stare at Naruto as he stares at her, in these circumstances they've been living with for years, all grown up – him in his Hokage hat, a cracking smear of dried paint on his forearm, and her in her lab coat, smelling of antiseptic and laundry detergent.

She flicks her eyes away. "You've always meant the best even when you were being extraordinarily stupid. Look at things from Bolt's point of view, try to spend a little time with him." She tips the mouth of the bottle forward, then back, considering. "…Take it from someone who knows, Hinata can't do it alone."

The sake plucks out of her hand, the milky half-moons sweat and streak when Naruto drags the bottle towards his end of the table, away from her. "Are you alone, Sakura-chan?"

She laughs. No, she's not about to start a pity party. What's Naruto going to do about it anyway? When she was twelve she put her whole world in his hands, relied on him with the blind faith of a fool. When she was fifteen she realized that Naruto was no God, was not infalliable, was not bullet proof – even if he could bring Sasuke back, even if he would _always_ bring Sasuke back. Sometimes she thinks that it doesn't always have to be for her.

There is only so much she can ask of Naruto, so much she can wait around for him to understand. Sakura is the most selfish person she knows and even she stopped asking a long time ago.

"What's so funny?"

"It's just," She looks up at him again, his serious face. When had he gotten this serious? She wanted to poke his temples, where his forelocks started like golden brushstrokes. She flicks the brim of his hat, right between his brows. Naruto frowns, forbidding, but his stare doesn't shift. "I haven't seen you for a long time, Naruto."

"I'm sure the bastard will be back soon."

She shakes her head at his grumbling. "Sasuke-kun is Sasuke-kun," She fills up her cheeks with sulky air, "You've gotten really serious, you know?"

"I'm Hokage."

Sakura laughs. She's tipsy, but not tipsy enough to find everything _this_ hilarious. Naruto looks at her strangely, like he's worried or something – she sobers up quickly, wants to wipe that expression off his face, everything she is, she _chose_. If he gets any closer to pitying her she might punch him.

Sakura leans heavily on the table, back long, shoulders lax. Sake does wonders to loosen up the body, loosen up the tongue – Sakura still feels the faint ache of chakra exertion, the migraine in her temples a dull lull that'll surely boom to its full ferociousness in the morning. She feels tired and floaty, light as smoke, for all the honesty that spills out of her. "Like you dreamed. I knew you would be, you know," Sakura says, without a smile. "Like I knew you'd bring Sasuke-kun back, like I knew you'd save the village."

"But?"

Wow, Naruto could be observant when he wanted to be. The thought comes unbidden, a little irritated, because Sakura didn't realize that there'd been a lot she'd wanted Naruto to see, a lot she thinks he was stubbornly, deliberately blind to. She studies the ceiling, it is warm and watery yellow, like…butter. Another cup of sake and she'll be making a somnambulist's way home.

She gives Naruto a drowsy smile. "I've missed you."

His eyes are a sharper blue, like he'd been expecting her to skate around it forever. Naruto's become that sort of person. She wants her friend back. He's watching her seriously, listening intently, but Sakura isn't afraid of saying the things that are true – it's been eight years, and during that, the only time Naruto had actively sought her out, had _come_ to see her was the shadow of his presence next to her as she stared into a room full on incubators, hoping internally for the child's own sake, that the girl wouldn't have red hair.

She reaches up for his hat again, Naruto's pretty ridiculous. With his silence here being too reminiscent of his silence then. She'd taken comfort she didn't deserve and none that he'd given with his presence there on that day. Even though they hadn't spoken, even though he hadn't so much as said a reassuring word, he'd come and that was enough. She'd thought Naruto's here, even if Sasuke can't be…with Naruto everything isn't that bad. With Naruto this girl can grow up proud, and happy.

"I feel like we've been busy playing at being adults. Maybe I'm the only one who stayed the same?" She fiddles dumbly with the brim of his hat, "Well," She sighs, dropping her hand away "Never mind, good night, Naruto."

Naruto's fingers hold around her wrist, against the pull of gravity. Sakura blinks blearily at the contact, she's had two cups of sake – she is still sober enough to know better than to leave her hand lax in the warm grip of his. She should know better than to stay.

Naruto's hands are big enough that she's sure they could fan wide over an infants head, they are big enough to hold worlds and worlds and worlds, strong enough to move the earth – to move anything simply through the strengths of his own convictions.

This is Naruto with a borrowed arm she'd sowed back on.

The surgery had been difficult, reattaching veins, nerurons, assembling the proper networks for blood circulation, chakra pathways and motor functions, but when she'd finished that, sowing the skin and muscle back had been easy, had been as easy as darning the tears in Sarada's sleeve, the buttons of Sasuke's coats whenever they called to her in the cupboard he never opened.

There is a scar where his forarm begins, silver and raised where his sleeve slips away. The last time she'd seen it it had been pink and raw, puckering around thread, her neat needle work.

"Sakura-chan," he says hoarse, it drags her attention from the wound he'd never let her smear away, and up his hard chest, the shadows pooling at his throat. She keeps her gaze focused on his the indentions of his collar bones, at the hollow of his throat. Naruto says a whole lot with his eyes alone, things she is sober enough to know better about listening to.

There are things that have been done, things that have not been said, things that it is too late to hear. She's overthinking it, the gesture is meant to be reassuring. Naruto is holding her hand because he's trying to tell her it's okay. Sakura has blood in her cheeks, a flush she can blame on the drink she'd barely had – and Naruto hasn't touched her in…he hasn't touched her since the war.

She isn't sure how reassured she can be in light of their circumstances, she feels helpless watching this new generation walk about – seeing Sarada scoff about Bolt and praise her father with the blind adulation that daughters do. She loves Sasuke. She is tired.

Without wars to fight, nuke-nin who threat to destroy world peace, an avenger's life on the line…it's just her and Naruto, saying nothing at all to each other.

Her lips quirk in another valiant attempt at friendly smile. "I'm fine, Naruto."

"I can always tell when you're lying."

That, bizzarely starts a spark of irriation in her. "Really?"

"Always."

Naruto shouldn't speak with such certainty, like it should rob her of her own. The table between them, his thumb rooted to the pulse in her wrist. He's disarming her in every way. _Always,_ like he _knows _her or something – Sakura feels angry red in her cheeks, keeps her expression excruciatingly calm. Of course, Naruto knows her - or knew her best.

"I'm not sure you do," Sakura says, light. She looks in his eyes then, "You never did come clean by the way. Sai made me feel real stupid for no reason."

"Sai's an idiot."

"Still," her mouth cants to the side, rueful. Two can play at that game. "I'm glad I said something, even if you stopped liking me – we were, what, twelve when you had your crush? Well, I said to myself, if it was true, if it was anything more than being twelve, and stupid…" Her voice softened. "Naruto would definitely tell me something later. He'd definitely tell me what he felt, if he felt anything."

His grip weakens, which is exactly what she'd been going for. Naruto isn't allowed to touch her, not when he doesn't mean it, not when he hasn't looked for her foreight years – not when he didn't let her help him, not when he cut her off like she was a part of his life he was ashamed of or something.

Naruto doesn't say anything.

"I'm glad that neither of us have any regrets," She says, she doesn't know what she was expecting, what she'd wanted. For Naruto to confirm any of it, to tell her that he'd given up because maybe he hadn't had the heart she'd expected from him, determined and unconquerable. That maybe it really was a crush, tell her what everyone else was thinking, what everyone else toted about as unshifting fact. That he'd loved the idea of her, had wanted her because she'd been easy for him to want then. That wanting her had been about winning yet another match against his rival. That she was just Haruno Sakura, that girl who lied to him, that girl he didn't remember loving. His eyes don't drop, so she lets hers. "I'll call Bolt over for dinner some time, you should come too." She pokes him between the eyes and pulls away fully, straightening up from the table and rolling the ache out of her shoulders. She drags her arm, the close of his fingers loosens, and she is slipping away. "And this time bring Hinata and that cute little munchkin of yours. I could eat her up."

Naruto lets her go.

"I'll take this," She plucks the sake up with a mischievous wink, a pleasant flush in her cheeks. "Since," she motions smugly towards the seal no doubt stamped on his navel, "Just coz you can't drink your problems away doesn't mean I shouldn't. Man, with the day I've been having! If Sarada complains anymore about Bolt I'm gonna have to sit her down and make her admit she's in love with him or something, seriously." She's chatting like an inane housewife, all light and nonchalant, and no doubt how she should be behaving at this age. Like her greatest concern is when Sasuke will be back, if Sarada's done her homework. "Good night, Naruto!"

"Sakura." He says helplessly.

She yawns, arms out and meanders out the door, chipper as the morning. "Get some sleep!"

Naruto's a fucking coward.

* * *

><p>She doesn't make the invitation. Mostly because she's already tried it before. It had been painful to suffer Hinata's sweet embarrassment, the stuttered lie that Naruto had business to attend to – the first two times it happened Sakura considered stomping over to the Hokage monument and beating the shit out of him. Tell him that she's trying, why won't he? Does he hate her that much?<p>

Naruto's a lousy idiot.

Hinata is lovely company, so lovely Sakura wants to swandive into a food processor. She is everything a wife should be, sweet, cultured and Himawari is the cutest little button in the world. Bolt, Sakura agrees with Sarada, is a pain in the ass. Poking at the winter peas and sneering at her, "Look," and Sarada has her father's scowl. "It's you."

She thinks considering Sasuke and Naruto's history these two might have gotten along better. Hinata apologises sheepishly for his behavior but does nothing to curtail him and apologizes for Naruto's refusal to attend without condemning him.

Sakura just sighs, she likes Bolt because she understands where he's coming from but all that teen angst is starting too early for it to be natural. He's _eight_.

Having a little misunderstood Naruto around and a mini-Sasuke would just about drive her to drink.

"Why do you even invite them?" Sarada once demanded.

Sakura had been washing the dishes after the visitors had left, Hinata had even offered to help. "It's rude to stand in doorways."

She stepped crisply into the light of the kitchen, "I don't want to be friends with him."

"You don't have to be friends with anyone," Sakura had frowned, "Why don't you like him anyway?"

"He's an idiot." She answered the last question, then added absently, as if she was already thinking about other things. "And you do want us to be friends. Just coz dad and the hokage were buddies centuries ago."

"Sarada, we're not forcing you to do anything."

Sarada scoffed, "Great. He's a stupid, rude, spoilt-brat, just coz his dad's hokage – all he does is whine about what a shitty dad Hokage-sama is, but atleast… Well, I just hate jerks like that."

Sarada hadn't had to say it but Sakura had heard it anyway.

At least his dad is here.

* * *

><p>She is sixteen and looking through a clothing store. She doesn't want to buy anything, but she finds her hands pouring over green fabric all the same – it's a furisode, the shopkeeper tells her it goes lovely with her eyes, with her hair, with her skin, and everything else she tells every customer that passes through there, halfheartedly plucking at the lot.<p>

Sasuke and Naruto have been gone a year already, Tsunade-sensei says they might be coming back any day soon. Sakura hopes it's before the winter festival tomorrow.

She doesn't have anyone to go with, so she doesn't buy the furisode.

She leaves the shop and meanders down the street, her basket of supplies thudding against her hip. If Naruto was here he'd have heckled to carry it for her, she'd never have gone into the clothing boutique, she'd have been too embarrassed. Maybe he'd have followed, maybe he'd have agreed with the shopkeeper. He might be coming any day now.

She finds herself forgetting what Sasuke looks like, for all his excruciating prettiness. He has been gone her whole life, she is used to him being gone, with Naruto it's different – it's different enough to matter.

Something hits her cheek, when she touches the skin beneath her eye it is cold and it dissolves beneath her fingertips. A snowflake. Sakura looks up, soft gasps around her. It hasn't snowed in Konoha for…nearly a decade. The last time it did she was seven, her father swung her up on his shoulders and danced out into the freezing air with her. They'd gotten pneumonia. Her mother had yelled.

Snow falls now, light and slow – it catches in her eyelashes, she thinks of long, golden ones, dusted with frost. She thinks of Naruto, his red nose, the turn of his mouth.

That was the last time it'd snowed for her.

Sakura starts running, her boot squelching on mud, when she arrives at the shop the shop keeper only gives the mud she tracks into the store one disparaging glass after she realizes Sakura is tugging at the green furisode. Breathless, with colour in her cheeks, _this one_. She wants this one.

She wants to go to the winter festival. She wants to go with Naruto, she wants to tug his sleeve and eat yakitori with him. She wants him to smile at her again. She wants to look back at snow with her heart wide open, warm, not reeling, flinching at the turn of his mouth.

She thinks of his hand, large, warm, around hers.

She thinks of Naruto.

* * *

><p>He comes back alone. She feels hurt that he didn't come to see her right away, a hurt she was ready to dismiss – but the injury deepens when he stays over a week without seeking her out. Sakura goes to look for him, a thick beanie muffling her ears, scarf and gloves, she looks for him at his apartment, at the training grounds, in the Hokage Tower, at Ichiraku's, at the Hokage Monument.<p>

"Hm," Kakashi says when she affirms that yes, she's looked _everywhere._ Pakkun's curled in his lap, radiating heat like a stove. Sakura's teeth still chatter from the cold. He looks up and the corner of his eye crinkles, "Don't worry about it, Sakura. He'll come around."

She wasn't aware that they were having a fight? Sakura just clenches her jaw, huddled in his kitchen, her hands stuck beneath her arms in an attempt to swallow down the warmth of his apartment. She nods, her brow a stubborn furrow. Last time Kakashi smiled at her like that was on the hospital rooftop, four years ago. When she'd been stupid enough to believe him.

She sighs and trudges outside, Kakashi might have been a rotten cheater with that sharingan eye of his, but he'd at least _tried_ to offer her tea. Snow dusts her shoulders as she walks through the shop district, intent on making her way to the Yamanaka's flowershop. She regrets not accepting.

In the end neither of the boys had come back in time for the festival. Not even Rock Lee sought her out. Sakura meandered down the frozen street, a cyclist with crates stacked on top of each other idled past her. It's not like she'd _wanted_ him to, but it'd been strange, Rock Lee always asked her.

Bright yellow light spilled out of one of the shop displays, a girl pulling on her mother's sleeve was pointing to a mannequin sheathed in a dress of pink cotton with ruffles pouring beneath the hem. Sakura stopped next to them, a smile pulling faintly at her lips. It was a really girly dress, something she would have wanted when she was younger. Now? Nah. It was cute though.

The mother began to scold her daughter, halfheartedly and they dragged away, continuing home presumably.

Sakura entered the warm flower shop, UV lights shining on the pots as she heard banging in the back room. Ino, no doubt. Sakura waited patiently, glad to enjoy the plentiful color. This late she was only one of two people in the flower shop, she was surprised they hadn't closed early. She floated between shelves of roses and daffodils, peering at the packed earth and stirring her fingers against the petals.

"Oh, Forehead," Ino called, surprised. She carried two pails beneath each arm, her apron immaculate, clean purple. "What're you doing here?"

Sakura shrugged, coming forward to pick one of the pails at her friend's feet. "Day off. How'd the festival go?"

Ino's skeptical frown was strange, but she dropped it at this line of questioning, her grin was full of feminine smugness. "Jeez, Forhead. I should have started dating civilian guys ages ago, they can be so cute! I mean, I'm not giving up shinobi, I mean that muscle definition – but Yoshiro was really, _really_ nice," They moved towards the greenhouse at the back. "We tried caught goldfish, and I won him a bear and he blushed so hard. It was so cute."

Ino expounded on the merits of civilian boys and Sakura listened, happy that Ino appeared to be having fun. Especially after the week they'd been having at the Yamanaka flowershop. Winter had taken them all by surprise, they'd lost merchandise to the bruising cold and had had to quickly mobilize themselves into making adjustments to the greenhouse and the transporters they did business with outside of the village. Winter or not, when people wanted roses they needed roses. "It's your fault I swear, I had to look for a good batch in all this frostbitten stock we had when Naruto came in here asking for some the other day. Couldn't very well let him give my best friend a subpar bouquet, even if she does have a superhuman forehead, what? It's true! Hey, Sakura…what's with that look on your face?"

To say that she felt the earth shift wasn't the half of it. Sakura's stomach dropped well below her feet and her axis fairly _flipped_. "…You saw Naruto?"

Ino stood from where she'd been leaning her elbows on the counter, pushing her cornflower hair out of her eyes, astounded. "You haven't?"

Sakura felt an embarrassed blush coming on, Team Seven wasn't exactly the best team in the world when it came to communication, and Ino didn't know it but she'd always envied the easy camaraderie of Team Ten. To admit that Naruto hadn't come to see her was strange to other teams who were all so well synchronized. The worst thing was Sakura didn't have to lie to Ino because her own mortified silence said enough, she was hurt.

Naruto had had time to go gallivanting around but not to see her?

"Hey," Ino folded her arms, frowning. "Are you serious? I thought – "

"They weren't for me," Sakura pasted on a smile. She raised her shoulders in a little unnatural shrug. "Yeah. Um, Ino, I'm glad you had a nice time with Yoshiro. He seems really cute."

"Sakura…"

The corners of her mouth were uncomfortably tight, "Well, see you, Pig!"

She walked fast enough until she could be sure Ino wasn't following her. She found herself beneath the glow of the yellow poured over her face, it looked warm. Above the sun was done shining, had been swallowed by blue winter clouds and the fast approaching evening. Already the streetlights were coming on, flooding against her back. Sakura tipped up her chin, closed her eyes and made a disgruntled hum. When she saw Naruto she was going to pummel him.

Maybe he was avoiding her. Maybe he thought she was upset Sasuke didn't come back and was trying to escape her wrath – wrath which she had none of – Sakura rubbed her temples with the heel of her palm and sighed. Sasuke was going to be Sasuke, sure she was curious, but dragging him back wasn't on her to-do list unless he was out desecrating shrines and letting darkness swallow his soul or _whatever_. She was a little disheartened, but she wasn't _mad_.

Maybe that's why Lee didn't ask her out. She pulled her palm away and studied it, hovering over her eyes, like, did she have Reserved For Uchiha Sasuke printed in ink on her forehead or something? She liked Lee, his advances while mostly unwelcome (because she didn't want to hurt his feelings or lead him on) – were still affirmations that she was _somewhat_ interesting. The idea that they were following some bro-code was ludicrous, considering that Sasuke hadn't so much as batted a (probably) asexual eyelash her way, and she'd been going on with her life perfectly fine, thank you very much.

She just thought she'd have gotten the memo about Naruto arriving earlier.

If Sakura was supposed to have gotten roses from Naruto she'd have gotten them. It didn't take a long time to come upon the conclusion of who else he could have gotten them for. Well, Sakura didn't have the right to interfere, it was none of her business.

But, she turned away from the display with a tight feeling in her chest, and the back of her throat feeling odd. Like someone was squeezing her airways. Hinata had always loved and admired him, Naruto deserved someone like her – sweet and kind. All Sakura ever did was hurt him.

She walked, chin tucked to her chest. The fur trim of her coat pulled up against her ears. Sakura studied the ground, going on autopilot, she didn't feel like going home anymore. She actually didn't really feel like…going _anywhere._

Well, actually she _did_ have a right to be angry. She was his teammate. Yeah! She had every right to be upset that Naruto found other people more worthy of his time than her, that he'd even seen Ino-Pig, and no doubt Kakashi – no wonder he'd been so uncomfortable and evasive! Naruto's weird behavior, his avoidance and everyone's pointed embarrassment about it made her feel like she was some sort of criminal. Sakura hadn't done anything wrong. At the very least they were friends, right?

Well, she sniffed, stopped. Her chest seized with surprise, and horror – No, she stuffed her mittene'd knuckles against her freezing nose. What the actual _fuck?_ Was she - _was she tearing up?_ If anyone saw she'd _further_ cement herself as the biggest crybaby kunoichi Of All Time. But – she drew back into an alley, seeking their shadows. Sakura huddled behind a dumpster like a homeless person, eyes wide and begging her composure back. _God damn it_, why was she always in this position? She caged her eyes with her frost-lined mittens, glaring at the ruddy brick opposite her, guilt blooming hotly between her ribs. She took deep breaths, fast and panicked, wide-eyed and furious with herself. Just a minute and she'd be okay. Just a minute and she'd walk home and _not_ cry.

She wanted to find Naruto and beat the shit out of him. Also, she never wanted to see him again. Two whole years she'd waited, feeling useless, hoping that when he'd come back everything would slip into place, she'd stop worrying about him and Sasuke killing each other over some misunderstanding. She'd thought he'd be the same boy he'd always been, that maybe he'd be as impatient to see her as she'd have been to see him.

Her back slumped against the grimy wall, here she was squatted between a sushi restaurant and a tailors, like some sort of thief. Trying to make sense of the maelstrom within her. Ugh, she was so _stupid_. Her fingers dragged beneath her beanie, crawling into the hair behind her ears. She was…really…really stupid.

* * *

><p>Sasuke kisses her first.<p>

She's more surprised than anyone, but really not. The content of their conversation stirred a lot of feelings up. Mostly it's so _typical_ that he's camped within the borders of Samurai country, because two things are unshakably true about Sasuke; that he's always going to have ridiculous hair, and that he's always going to go waltzing into places where he's _least_ welcome. Places were he _is_ welcome, let's say Konoha, are avoided with the dexterity of a man at a high class party avoiding even the most minor faux pas.

Sasuke is just one huge _snob._

Sakura stutters minimally around him, mostly because she's grown a spine, but also because Sasuke still rightfully kind of scares her and she's been in love with him for like, what, _five_ years? The red he summons in her cheek is an involuntary, conditioned response from years of acceding to him. These days the red in her face around Sasuke doesn't simply come from girlish blushing, but sometimes from pure _rage._

She nearly demolishes the tree line when he makes the mistake of ignoring her and trying to pretend like he isn't there. Like she didn't just _see_ him hastily clearing camp. Sakura's been travelling for six days, she is exhausted, she can get a million miles away from Konoha but it's always going to stab between her eyes like a goddamn reminder.

She sighs and drops her butt on a stump. "Sasuke-kun, come _on_."

He doesn't answer to her whisper. Fuck, she didn't come looking for him so she could sit on his dick, so he really has no reason to be avoiding her. Sakura isn't here to have his babies, _god._

She stares blankly at the frosted grass between her toes, he's still there, hanging ominously in the trees like some sort of invisibility-cloaked three legged monkey. Her body feels stiff, her hand slips into her thick cloak and pulls out a slightly bent cream-coloured envelope. She drops it on her knee and stares at it for a long while. Sakura irons her palm over it, using her knee, but she still can't straighten the crook around the corner.

Sakura drops her efforts and leans her temples into her fist. "It's Naruto, you idiot."

When he doesn't appear she scowls.

"God damnit Sasuke-kun, I said the magic words didn't I?" And really, she could be deaf and still hear the bitterness in her own voice. Being tired and cold and having her whole life feel like some kind of cosmic joke calls for a little grouchiness. There is no lie. "_Na_-ru-_to_." She sighs, breath pluming heavily into the air. Softly she explains, "Naruto's getting married. He'd like you to be there."

She closes her eyes, shoulders dropping. Sasuke's being unreasonably difficult but Sakura isn't really in a hurry to go home. The whole thing seems like a chore. She sighs. Sakura has done more sighing in the past hour than she has in her whole _life_. She scrapes her heel forward, watching ice dust beneath the sole of her boot. Sakura pulls back her foot and scrapes it forward again. The envelope slips into her lap. She concentrates on digging a furrow into the ground, keeps her chakra circulating to keep her warm just in case she has to wait all night or something.

She doesn't, actually. She's surprised out of her distraction when she sees his feet landing lightly on the snow. She's almost got a foothill of snow gathered now, if she leans forward she can shape it into a pointy mountain but that would take effort and interest she really does not have. Sasuke makes no move to take the envelope, and she, no move to give it to him.

"To who?" He asks.

Of course he knows to _who_. Sakura looks up, narrowing her eyes at him. Sasuke almost _glows_ in the dark, he is so pale and pretty that even her attraction to him doesn't stop her from wanting to _tear his eyes out_. "Sasuke-kun." She says simply, with no intonation. It's a warning. Not to play dumb.

Sasuke knows perfectly well. He doesn't blink, mismatched eyes made for holding people in uncomfortable staring contests.

Sakura blinks first. Fuck! Goddamn sharingan, _ugh_.

"Well, he's too busy with Hiashi to come and stuff," She smiles, forcing herself to be light and pleasant. "Naturally I volunteered."

Why is she making excuses for Naruto like she's some uncomfortable third party in a lover's quarrel? Wait. This is her whole life really.

Sasuke stares at her for a long while, like longer than five_ seconds_, this is record time really and if she were younger she'd have started to preen and make her own wedding plans, but right now war-seasoned-aint-got-time-for-this Haruno Sakura feels a scowl come on and has the unbearable urge to touch her cheek just in case there's something on her face.

"No."

"What?"

He turns away crisply and begins walking.

Sakura groans, really not into running into the cold dark for him and launching into a spiel about bonds and shit. She's tired and _freezing_. "Sasuke-kun!"

He's disappeared into the shadows and Sakura utters a long string of tangled curses before she stuffs the envelope back into her cloak, launches up and trudges into the undergrowth after him. It says a lot about his character development that he's not taken into the branches and made her run after him, actually either Sasuke's on drugs or he's actually taking a pace which makes following after him _possible._

Sakura swats a low hanging branch out of her way, fuming. "Could you at least tell me _why_?"

"I'm busy." Sasuke answers, she glares daggers into where she supposes his duck butt ends. It's night time and the moonlight keeps getting cut across with swathes of black clouds, making the path ahead of her intermittently blue dark or pitch black.

"Doing _what_?"

He's taken two years to find himself, his continuous absence from the village doesn't need rocket science to figure out. Sakura would have a hard time going back to the village that murdered her family too. Also, she can only assume that Naruto and Sasuke have had another really dumb spat. This time she can fairly guess that it was about Taka, because the last five inns she's been to have all had keepers who told her about a tall, dark, handsome stranger asking for information on a skinny saw-toothed Mist nin, a red-headed hell cat in a miniskirt and a giant garlanded in woodland shrubbery and an assortment of parakeets.

Sasuke sells the whole dark stealthy ninja persona well but he's really embarrassingly useless at subtlety when it comes to looking for people or covering his tracks. If he hadn't been holed up with Orochimaru all those years ago in those secret bases then Team Seven would have no doubt eventually found him yelling about Itachi in a village square somewhere.

Sakura however, feigns ignorance out of respect, and because she tries to be tactful about Sasuke's feelings and his delicate Uchiha pride.

She can _hear_ him grinding his teeth. "Stuff."

"Take, like, a week off."

"No."

Sakura nearly pulls her hair out until she realizes they're heading _out_ of Samurai country. She's a little relieved, this place gives her the creeps. She trots up a little so she can keep by his side, and Sasuke and her walk in silence.

She can almost breathe easy and pretend like this is normal. The last time she and Sasuke were alone he tried to strangle her. She's cataloged a safe distance between them because she can only rely so far on Sasuke's relationship with Naruto. Baby steps. She's not completely forgotten. Just coz she's forgiven him doesn't mean she trusts him completely.

Sakura gulps the ice-laden air, it shards the back of her throat. She peeks at the moon as it rehearses its disappearing act. A little quiet never killed anybody. The uncomfortable gnawing in the pit of her stomach abates a little, she stops going over apologies for not being Naruto and stops trying to make sense of everything that's been crowding her ever since the war ended.

They make unhurried progress, saying nothing. Her heart softens a little, she imagines Sasuke making the journey alone, worries idly about his lack of stealth. Last time she checked there was a pissed Raikage calling for his head.

It must be nice though. A little lonely, no doubt – but she thinks she could do with some of it. So there could be nothing but the moon in the sky and terrain to travel, and Konoha and all its regrets could be miles and miles away, could be forgotten.

She drops the thought, aiming a chagrined smile at the sky, chopped up by the tree branches, spliced with moonlight. Sasuke might be out here but that doesn't mean he's forgotten about Konoha either. Neither of them are so naïve.

They go on like this for three hours, cross the border. In another hour night will start to slink away. Sakura doesn't really want it to. The woods thin, they crest a hill and look down below. Sakura can make the vague outlines of a small house, built in the old-style of the Uchiha dojos. Sasuke explains shortly that it's one of his family's old haunts. It's not unheard of, influential clans still have their ancient holdfasts over areas where they'd waged war. She nods dumbly, too exhausted to doggedly pursue conversation that Sasuke has, for once, actually _initiated_.

They go in. It's surprisingly clean. When she sees the coats hanging within she realizes that Sasuke frequents this place a lot. She shoots him a suspicious look, but Sasuke's tucking his shoes in the corner and Sakura drags her boots off, cursing their myriad of buckles and stumbles up onto the tatami after him. Sasuke nods from where he'd been waiting for her and continues across the corridor. He stops before a shouji screen with the detail of cranes and tells her it's her room.

Sakura's suspicious look cranks up a few million watts, "Please don't tell me this is an elaborate scheme to get me to drop my guard down so you can sneak off into the night."

Sasuke holds her disgruntled glare for a long while before he realizes she's going to be annoying for _forever_ unless he actually deigns her with a response, "I won't run away."

"Why'd you even bother with a camp when you were this close here."

He shrugs. "I was going into Samurai country, not out."

"Oh," she says dumbly, feeling her face flush. "Sorry."

"Hn."

"I mean, it's stupid of you. I doubt they're there and it's dangerous – but I'd have been okay camping out with you. I'm not some coddled princess."

Sasuke's probably used his word quota for the month in the past hour with silences like that.

"It's not like I'd have crawled into your sleeping bag or something, Sasuke-kun. Jeez."

Sasuke actually looked embarrassed, then he looked annoyed. It did strange blotchy red things to his face. "That's not it." He grit his teeth. "Stop being annoying."

"You say the sweetest things," Sakura rolled her eyes, stepping into the room and delicately slipping the shouji screen shut with like, the back of her foot. "Good night, Sasuke-kun."

"…Good night, Sakura."

In the morning she woke to Sasuke grunting manfully around the dojo dummies, she rubbed the sleep from her eyes and they indulged in some no-chakra taijutsu. It was actually nice. Like, Sasuke actually took her seriously enough to aim for her face when he punched instead of pooh-pooing around for safer areas like her arms or her feet like dumber, sexist boys did. He was a little faster than her, but she made up for it with strength and precision. Despite being one armed he'd managed to perfect his balance, but the few times she'd kicked his feet from under him he'd stumbled inelegant. So not down pat, just yet.

It was a light spar and then she slumped exhausted at his kitchen table while Sasuke doddered about making them breakfast. Sakura was pretty sure she was dreaming but didn't want to go through the trouble of pinching herself. It was so weird. It was like her and Sasuke were hanging out. Like actual teammates. Like they'd suddenly slipped into an alternate reality where Sasuke wasn't a murdering psychopath and she wasn't weeping over his unattainability.

He sat opposite her and she didn't stare at him. Well, she only stared at him a _little._ It'd be a crime not to. Sakura had sort of given up on Sasuke actually being sexually interested in her, her scrutiny was well-deserved really. Sasuke was too pretty not to be appreciated, if only aesthetically.

She was just really glad that Sasuke hadn't chased her away yet. Or like, murdered her.

She pushed a bit of egg about on her plate and opened her mouth to broach the topic of the wedding again.

Sasuke intercepted this attempt and thwarted her, "No."

Sakura had hoped she'd brave the ceremony with atl east one _other_ person who didn't want to be there. She tucked her lips into an annoyed frown, glaring. It wasn't like _she_ wanted to talk about it either. "What the hell is up your butt, Sasuke-kun?"

"This isn't up for negotiation."

He didn't even look up from his plate. Sakura was reminded of her parents denying her eight-year old requests with firm no's. Sasuke navigated his chopsticks around his food with elegant, economical motions. Sakura briefly considered if he'd let her get away with shoving his face into the omelette.

"I know you and Naruto disagreed over Taka. To be honest I think he's stupid and a little jealous," Sakura tried to be diplomatic, but couldn't stop heatedly grinding the words out. "He's going to get over it eventually. Can't you guys make up at the wedding? Sasuke-kun, please come. This is exhausting."

Sasuke got up slowly, rising to his full height. Rigid and cold, his palms spread on the table, his shoulders braced. "Sakura."

Her mouth went dry, a part of her almost wilted, but she kept on. Fooldhardy, stubborn, she just couldn't stand it anymore. "Sasuke-kun –"

He grabbed his plate and dumped it in the sink, then he was marching out. Sakura shot after him, calling his name, by the time she caught up he was already yanking on his shoes. She stood dumbly behind him, feeling out of her depth. "Where're you going?"

"Out."

Well, no _shit_. Sakura folded her arms, torn between begging him back in and running after him, in both situations her pride would suffer. She shifted, her blood boiling with nervous, furious energy as Sasuke fastened his shoes properly and stood. She had to grind every sinew in her body to stop it from lunging after him. When he slammed the door behind him she felt her heart seize, like it always would if Sasuke left, too trained on fear and injured on childish hope to expect that he'd ever come back. With Sasuke, you never knew.

She wasn't Naruto, she couldn't talk him down. She couldn't beat him with brute force. She just didn't have the goddamn nerve. With all her tough talk, cornering Sasuke was hard and she was never able to know what to do with him when he acted out. She didn't know how to handle Sasuke, all either of them had ever known from her were tears and emotional manipulation.

Sakura pressed her temples against the door, hoping to bring her temperature down. Her hands were shaking, Sasuke had scared her. In his presence she was reminded about how little she could do to twist him towards anything. All she could do, she sighed, was wait.

By the time he came back it was well into the night and she was sat on the porch in the feudal-styled courtyard. Knees drawn to her chest, listening hollowly to the dip and the slow ebb of water weighing down bamboo, the click of the shido-odoshi as it plunged. Snow melted in the sakura trees and Sasuke sat soundlessly next to her.

He didn't say anything for a while, he was listening too. He smelt a little like smoke, she realized he's probably gone off to set things on fire, she felt a little guilty for making him angry. Mostly she was just…she was just_ tired_.

She tipped the sake she'd filched and he surprised her when he accepted it. She'd filched it shamelessly from the old ice-storage in his family's kitchen, it tasted foul, closer to vinegar than anything. It was probably near the end of its shelf-life, spoiled. Sasuke and Naruto had probably bought it when they were last here. Sasuke took a swig too and she was disappointed that she didn't erupt into girlish rapture at the indirect kiss. He made a face when the sour zing hit his tongue.

She leaned towards him, settling her weight into his arm and the side of her head into the hard, pointy part of his shoulder. "I wouldn't have minded losing him to you."

It took her a while to realize that the shaky, breathless sound Sasuke had made was a derisive chuckle, self-aware, self-depreciating mirth. Mostly because she'd never heard Sasuke laugh. Okay, she'd only ever heard Sasuke laughing hysterical, evil-villain laughter, but. "Liar."

She smiled small and useless, like all her teeth were breaking in her mouth. She moved her cheek, settling better into his shoulder. "Yeah, okay. I'd have minded a little bit. But," She didn't feel stupid the way she'd felt in Konoha, here with Sasuke she didn't feel so ashamed with the tinny way her voice went. All small and cracked, and hurt. "I'd have seen it coming. I'd have _understood_. You two kind of clicked with each other in a way that I really couldn't."

Sasuke was warm, he didn't say anything. He let her burrow into him with no complaint.

She dug her fingers into the fabric of his sleeve, fiddling with the part that would have contained his arm if he hadn't gotten it blown off. Sasuke hadn't allowed a new limb. The moon was back, uninhibited by a leafy ceiling, it hung in a backdrop of deep, dark blue – beautiful and far away.

"I don't approve." Sasuke admitted, his jaw clenching, "Naruto's an idiot. You're an idiot. Fucking Hyuuga, what do they know about him?" He crushed a hiss between his teeth, like he didn't want to say more. But with all things Naruto, Sasuke just couldn't help himself. "Well, it's fanciful stupidity to have thought we could go back. I'm to blame for that, I suppose."

She squealed when he pressed the freezing edge of the sake bottle against her cheek. She swiped at it and dug a finger into his side. Sasuke made a hard, annoyed noise and Sakura burrowed deeper into his arm, or whatever was left of it, the bastard.

She swallowed down gulp of vinegary alcohol and almost gagged. "You're not sorry, though. That's what you guys fought about. I mean," she paused, looking for the correct, diplomatic route again. "Naruto's always thought of you as…well, as _ours_. I have too, no – just listen here. When we first found out you'd gotten a new team he got all red faced and we both thought _well_, what the fuck is wrong with Sasuke, if he needed someone to help him, _we_ could've. Weren't we enough?" She spilled more of the wretched alcohol down her throat, squeezed his arm to let him know she was getting to the point, not like, judging him or anything. "But in all honesty that was bullshit. We didn't help you at all. We were really hurt, but I think what hurt worst was realizing that we were just a bunch of fucking liars. We didn't help you. Well, ou didn't let us, but we could have…well, we should have done _something_. We could have helped you with your revenge all those years ago. Taka helped you. Taka was a better team to you than we were." She pulled a loose string at the cuff of his empty sleeve, dragging it. "Naruto's all for making friends and shit, but Taka's a sore point for him. He'll take a while to come around."

"…He tell you all this?"

She poorly smothered a bark of ridiculous laughter with the back of her hand. "Nah. Naruto and I don't really talk much anymore. I mean, we haven't _argued_, but…" She grinned stupidly, hiding the side of her face in the bunch of his arm, she felt her mouth crack behind her knuckles, watery, too-full of tears to help anything other than laughter. "He's been distant. He's making his own life, you know? I don't want to get in the way."

"Sakura…"

"I wish," She smothered her hand across her face, her cold cheeks slid under the hot knife of sudden tears. "I wish I was in love with you the way I was when I was twelve, Sasuke-kun."

She felt her ribs crack around hot, blooming grief. The back of her throat closing up around a heartful of coals, felt his sleeve become wet with tears and snot, and useless, useless weeping. Sasuke got up immediately, she thought to leave, until she felt him settle on her left side so he could put his good arm around her all awkward and slow and nice and so _unlike_ him, and something inside her just- just _broke_, like a small animal's spine, like a child's hope, and she wept in earnest, into the side of a boy she didn't deserve for opportunities she'd squandered, about all the stupid mistakes she'd made.

She cried until her throat went raw, until her head built with pressure, until she felt like her brain, her heart might burst. She cried until her eyes ached, until she was exhausted. She cried for hours probably. When she finally stopped, hiccuping like a baby, her skin felt hot and achy. Feverish. She felt the chill sake bottle press into her neck, it was Sasuke, glaring daggers into the sakura trees. Furious for her.

"I'm sorry," She pressed the chill porcelain over her cheek. Her other hand rubbed the sodden sleeve between her fingers before straightening and clumsily pushing her hair away from her face. "I'm okay. I'm sorry, Sasuke-kun."

Sasuke looked at her with childlike horror, it was the most open she'd ever seen him. His mouth softened. "It's my fault."

"I don't want you to be sorry for doing your duty. I think that's what drove you away on our part."

"I'm not sorry for doing my duty," He said softly, "You understand why I can't really ever go back to Konoha, right?"

"You're looking for your team."

"With or without them, I can't go back to that place without feeling like a hypocrite. I can't apologize for retaliating the way that I did, I won't."

"A visit wouldn't hu –" She shut her mouth, "Sorry. You're right."

"Even if Naruto became Hokage, it still doesn't change anything. That shinobi village was built on the blood of my ancestors, and no one's condemned it. Don't give me that political bullshit, that it's too tricky to come out to the public with it, you're too smart to be making those sorts of excuses."

"I wouldn't know," Sakura admitted, "I haven't been in governance for the past year. Tsunade's stepped down and Kakashi wouldn't take me on because he's a sexist old bat."

He looked like he'd had the ability to teleport over long distances he'd have sprang out of sight and come back with Naruto's broken molars embedded in his fist. "_What_."

"Yeah," Sakura shrugged, sniffling and dabbing at her eyes with her fingers. "Well, shit. I don't wanna go either." She groused, sulky. "Damnit Sasuke, why'd you think I came all the way out here. Can I just pretend I was tracking you across the ocean and say that's why I missed the shindig? I can say we got caught up in romantic shit and stuff."

He curved a glare at her, long-suffering.

"_What_, everyone already thinks I've been pining."

"I'm looking for my team."

"I can help you."

"Sakura – "

"Jeez, Sasuke. Just admit a part of you really missed me." Sakura snapped, sarcastic but also not. She grinned, challenging. "Attempts on my life aside – "

"Pot," Sasuke pronounced dryly. "Kettle."

She laughed. "Well, we've already established that I'm too in love with you to make the final cut."

"Really?" He said in a heroic attempt not to sound even a little curious. "Still?"

"Well, I think I'll always be a _little_ in love with you, Sasuke-kun," She tucked her knees to her chest again, smiling happily. "But I mostly chalk that up to habit, well you shouldn't worry. I should probably shake it off in a few years – " The breath died in her throat, Sasuke had gone really quiet, like a weird kind of quiet. "Well, anyway," She said in a shrill whisper, and canted a look at him bravely. She could shove the awkwardness off with enough effort really, just grin a lot, just keep –

Sasuke kisses her and Sakura nearly _dies_.

She's stupefied with shock, stupefied with how soft his mouth is, he doesn't close his eyes. She stares horrified into them, the seam of her mouth opens in an indignant gasp, and she claws her fingers into the side of his face, spluttering. You don't just fucking kiss someone with your eyes open! What the fuck kind of shit is that?!

Sasuke licks his lips like he doesn't understand what the fuss about kissing is.

"Don't you dare pity me," She swears, feeling her ribs clench, fury crack in the pit of her heart. "Don't you _dare_ – "

"Stop over thinking it." Sasuke orders harshly, but his eyes soften. Her heart lunges, like it's about to rattle against her teeth, Sakura's not exactly very kissable right now. She's spent the whole night sobbing snot into his sleeve and crying about Naruto. So excuse you if she doesn't _get_ it. "I just wanted to see."

"Am I like your hetero experiment or something?" She yells, deeply outraged. But the pressure on her ribs kind of lets up a little, "What the fuck, Sasuke-kun."

His face has pink ridges were she's got her nails in deep. He speaks with jaw clenched around her mannish hold. "I wanted to kiss you. It'd have been better if Naruto were here."

"Ew," She says, she should probably make a show of wiping her mouth or something right about now. "So I can third wheel in the threesome? No thanks."

"Sakura," he says seriously, "I care about you."

"Really?" She almost aw's, her heart melts like butter. "Like that?"

"I don't love-_love_ you," he goes on in that grave voice, but she can see his face flushing with reluctant embarrassment. "But I," he licks his lips again, she's involuntarily drawn to the sight. She should probably slap him. Probably. "But I want – "

"To fuck?"

He nods, and she's stupidly letting herself fall back on the porch. Sasuke caging her, and she's too preoccupied with how he's able to keep himself up with one arm to stop him from leaning down again. "Wait," she snaps, "This is all wrong," she grabs him by the front of his ridiculous shirt, Sasuke's face verges on crest-fallen, that's like, how it _drops_. Sakura rolls her eyes and flips them over, crawling ontop of him. He's like one armed, he can't keep himself up and grope her at the same time, she's doing him a favor, really. She straddles him, gets comfortable on his stomach and peers down at him. "Did you and Naruto do this?"

"No."

Huh? Like, two whole years? And _no_ homosexual tanglings? Sakura has never been so surprised, Naruto can't be that staunchly straight. No way. Even she'd be a little gay in his position, it's Sasuke. Also, like weren't they virtually married by the Sage or something? She crows smugly. "Ooooh, am I your _first_, Sasuke-kun?"

He flushes an angry red, scoffs. "No."

"Huh?" She pauses, "Really? Spiiiill!"

He keeps his mouth stubbornly shut.

"Hey," she shakes him by his shirt, thighs clenching around his ribs with a threatening, anaconda squeeze. "Oh, come on, you have _got_ to tell me. I need to know whose sloppy seconds I'm dealing with."

Sasuke throws his arm over his eyes, "You're so annoying."

"One," Sakura points a finger in the air, "Using contraceptives, so don't think this is some sneaky way to jump-start your clan, mister. Two, don't come thirsting after me after this, that kind of desperation just does unflattering things to a boy's face. This is like a one time – _Oomph!_"

* * *

><p>By the time she gets back the wedding is over. Sakura can tick losing her virginity off her list and basically pat herself on the back for thoroughly fucking Uchiha Sasuke and getting away from it ; One, Alive and Two, with her soul and heart and <em>sanity<em> intact. If anything that isht is forever out of her system and she's looking forward to going into the Hokage office, getting a century-long mission assignment in Suna or something and hastily offering her formal congratulations to the newlyweds.

She's also got bragging rights over every kunoichi fangirl in Konoha, which is pretty dope, but these are rights she is too mature to utilize. She keeps her mouth shut, but Ino looks disapprovingly at her over the counter. "What," Sakura says defensively, already happily moving between the aisles. She's okay. Naruto's found happiness, she's happy for him. She's making her way down her bucket-list, thrown off the mystery that was Uchiha Sasuke, and didn't catch feelings in the process. You know what, there's probably a sweet job opportunity in the horizon. Life is going to be _good_. "How's Yoshiro?"

"Small penis," Ino says, not letting up on the serious judgy-glare even as she says this, "Sai, on the other hand – "

Sakura begins choking on air.

Ino's already launching over the counter and slapping her on the back, Sakura waves her off but just - keeps - _pounding._

"Ino, stop, what the fuck – I stopped dying like two minutes ago – NOW YOU'RE JUST HITTING ME!"

Her best-friend (seriously where does she pick these people _up?_) backs off all slow, with no repentance whatsoever. Sakura could probably launch into the tricky topic of consent issues, given that Sai was emotionally inept one could argue that he'd be unable to make such decisions, but she could also bring up how sleeping with an effeminate asshole in a croptop probably said a lot about Ino's latent lesbianism, but you know. Glass houses and all. Also, Sakura was in no mood to have her line of questioning turn into a mind-fuck at the hands of the most adept, up-and-coming torturer in Konoha, and probably the _world._

So pardon her, but she wasn't into having her whole life examined right now.

"Well, you must have it _aaaall_ figured out."

"Yep, things are looking up, Ino." She grinned optimistically, plucking up a daffodil, which was quickly plucked _out_ of her hand and put back into the water. "Hey, I'm thinking..._Iwa_."

"Yeah right," Ino scoffed, "Like Naruto's going to let you just up and leave,"

"Last time I checked _Kakashi_ was Hokage. I remember because I was really dubious, loudly dubious about the appointment. I mean, Kakashi, seriously. It's still bogus - "

"Sakura!" Her best friend followed her, clawing at the air. "You can't just run away from your problems!"

"I'm not _running_ away from my problems," she scrunched up her face like Ino was being ridiculously, deliberately obtuse. "I'm expanding my _horizons_." She swept her arm towards the glass front where the horizon was, probably, like, behind all those buildings. She dragged Ino towards her, arm around the blonde's shoulder, Sakura glowered down at her, smiling sweetly but threateningly. "_Be happy for me_."

"You're insane. You're on a sex-high."

"What," Sakura said, "It was one time, and like, two months ago - Hey!" She spun away from her friend as if burnt, she'd been _tricked!_ "I shouldn't have expected any less from you, Yamanaka Ino."

"You're disgusting." Ino said, but she trembled a little in awe, and Sakura could totally tell that she was impressed.

"Thanks," She tossed over her shoulder, pulling her shades over her eyes as she made a smooth exit. "Also, suck it, bitch."

Because the only thing spectacularly great about fucking Sasuke was getting to lord it over Ino. Sasuke's hotness had made their friendship collateral at some point, or was it their friendship that made Sasuke collateral? Hm, well, never mind. She'd gotten laid, she was getting out, she was going to start a new life for herself.

* * *

><p>Sakura was totally running away from her problems. What, it worked for Jiraiya, right? Jeez, she hadn't even gone to see Naruto. Which, about turn really, she shouldn't <em>have<em> to feel guilty about it.

The only good thing about coming back to Konoha was that the snow had melted. Ever since two years ago winter had been coming at the end of the year, with actual _snow_. Sakura saw spring set in, felt the warmth on the back of her neck, could wear her cute miniskirt _without_ worrying about frostbite- _finally_. She walked down the path where Sasuke once had the audacity to knock her out and leave her on a goddamn bench where any sexual predator could have just, _waltzed_ by - but the sakura trees were in full bloom which always got her heart a little full and her bitterness abated. These were the trees she'd been named for, this was her goddamn_ season._

"Hey, Hag."

Sai settled in by her side, Sakura summoned up a happy smile - because you know - she should have stuff to smile about. Fake it till you make it and all. "Yo." She said, channeling Kakashi because she was too stupid to be natural. Naruto had one thing right, she was a _terrible_ liar. "Uh, well, what've you been up to?"

"You missed the wedding." Sai managed to walk and paint in his scroll at the same time, Sakura frowned skeptically at a curving black slant of ink that she was pretty sure was side-boob. "How was Sasuke-kun?"

Sakura stretched, pinned her arms behind her head and yawned. "He didn't wanna come. I chased him over three continents and then some. Well, I could explain the trip to you, but some parts, well. You'd have to have been there."

"Are you feeling alright?"

"Yep. Actually, this trip made me realize just how much I loved travelling."

It was true. Camping with Sasuke had been kind of fun, and not because of sex, they'd done that once and came to the decision that that was as many times as could be allowed. Sasuke and her actually tolerated each other, they hadn't exactly exchanged friendship bracelets but she was glad their mutual unrequited love for Naruto had kind of sort of brought them back together. Weird.

"Hm." Sai said, and she couldn't tell if he was being sarcastic or he was just making polite affirmative I'm-totally-listening-but-not-really-invested noises. "You brought your paperwork to Kakashi?"

"Permission pending."

"Hm, does Dickless know?"

Jeez. Sakura was getting really annoyed with this schtick. Naruto this, Naruto that. She was a grown _woman_. "It doesn't really make sense for me to continue at the hospital when Tsunade's back in play there. Her and Shizune can hold it down for a while."

"Still - "

"Nope. I haven't seen Naruto, I've been busy."

"Hm."

What the fuck was _that_ supposed to mean? Sakura was getting real tired of Sai's pointed hm-ing. She scowled at what she was pretty sure was more detail on Ino's naked body than she _ever_ wanted to know of. Also, it was hard to hide her resentment around Sai when he'd pretty much done nothing but complicate her love life to the point where it never got the chance to take off. She glared at him all the way towards the Hokage's office, her whole body radiating don't-you-have-somewhere-else-to-I-don't-know-_be_ , but nope. He just, stuck by her side. All the way there.

In retrospect she'd probably have been more grateful because that was when she was confronted with Naruto and Hinata walking down the street. Now, Sakura had had a year to aquaint herself with the sight of the-one-that-got-away and his sweet-soon-to-be-waifu being ridiculously PDA so she could keep a straight face, and had perfected the light, brainlessly pleasant smile of someone who was happy for them, but she found herself scrabbling for Sai's elbow.

Sai looked mildly concerned as Sakura nearly pitched forward in a dead faint, Naruto and Hinata were still at the dango vendors, he was laughing loudly, golden and she was blushing and stuttering. They hadn't seen her yet. "Sakura," he patted her cheek to bring her out of her horrified stupour, "Keep it together. You're going to have to confront them at some point."

"I - " Sakura gasped, feeling queer. Trying to accept the reality that was Hinata, looking about three months _pregnant_. She felt everything plummet out of her, all that stupid bravado, all that grand optimism, fled. "I...I can't. Sai, I don't know how -" She choked up, "I need to go."

"I'm here with you."

Well fuck, no shit, what a goddamn comfort! She was pretty sure moral integrity said she shouldn't blame everything terrible that had ever happened to her on Sai, but that voice in her head could get _bent_. She looked up at him, ashen. "Sai, this is _balls_."

"Hey! Sakura-chan! You're back"

Sakura prayed for death, she prayed for it to come down, like, right fucking _now_.

"Just follow my lead," Sai said seriously, abominably, freakishly tall. "I do this as a friend but also partially out of guilt, and partially because I've always been somewhat sexually attracted to you."

"I _knew_ it," Sakura hissed, and was pulled into an improptu make-out session by an effeminate asshole in a croptop.

Sai physically disgusted her because sexualizing him felt wrong and inhumane, but he had like a really, _really_ soft mouth? - god damn, just like Sasuke, they both also did that too-much-tongue thing. Which was probably more than necessary, and she hoped to pin this on Sai trying to make a show out of it rather than having sloppy technique because she believed Ino deserved better than that.

She swooned pathetically, mostly because she thought if he dipped her deep enough she'd be removed from Naruto's sight and like, plunge out of existence, or at the very least be hidden enough so her terrible acting didn't compromise the performance. She pulled on Sai's stupid hair, hoping to rip some of it out of his scalp in the process. She cursed when he bit her tongue. Fuck, she pinched his butt hard and Sai flinched in pain. They pawed at each other like animals - to anyone else this looked like passionate, wild embrace between two horny lovers. Sakura kept trying to get away with the opportunity to knee him in the crotch and Sai, like, stepped on her toe like, three fucking times, the _asshole_.

When they broke apart, Sakura's face was red and Sai looked like he'd been shoved out of a sexy hurricane. Not bad, Haruno Sakura.

She adjusted her shirt and Sai made an unnecessary show of adjusting his crop top, she glared at him murderously from the corner of her eyes. She swiped saliva off her chin. When she looked up at Naruto he was the sort of red not yet seen in nature. Hinata was practically a pitiful sheet white compared to that colour.

The Hyuuga fiddled with her fingers, averting her eyes, and Naruto's chest seemed to expand as he prepared for the loudest yell in the world - the sort of yell that might reach across the continent and shake Sasuke out of whatever tree he was sleeping in. Sakura saw Hinata's soft hand pull around his wrist and his chest collapsed, the fury bled away from him, and Sakura was kind of resentful because fuck this _shit_, seriously - and Naruto used only his Stage five Outdoor Voice which boomed into Ichiraku instead of all the way to the Hokage monument.

"WHAT THE HELL, SAI?"

"Um," Sakura said, taking this distraction to give Hinata her unnatural congratulations. The awkwardness of the delivery could always be blamed on the awkward situation they'd just witnessed. Sakura never actually thought she'd be thankful for having Sai by her side in a _social_ situation. "Congratulations on your wedding! And," she elbowed Sai cheekily, smile cracking the corners of her mouth weirdly, "Your impending children!"

"Th-Thank you, Sakura-san!"

Sakura beamed, wow. That wasn't so terrible! Naruto was still shaking Sai by the shoulders like a father who'd found a man defiling his daughter, Sai bore it with his straight-faced, infuriating lack of understanding for what he presumed was an overreaction. "DIDN'T I SEE YOU WITH INO THE OTHER NIGHT?"

"You did," Sai agreed, "Now you've seen me with the Hag."

Naruto spluttered, veins pulling in his throat. "Sakura-chan," he turned pleadingly towards her and Sakura reminded herself that she probably no longer had the rights to walloping him. Yet another thing that had been taken away from her. "How could you - Sasuke - "

"Seriously," she folded her arms, hiding her thunderous fury and assuming the devil-may-care shrug of an independent-sexually-active woman. Sai didn't need to be told to put his arm arrogantly around her, she shifted into it with the sulkiness of a defiant teenager. "Stop acting like my mother. Don't think I don't know the whole thing was an elaborate match-making scheme."

"Just because you've settled doesn't mean you should stifle the activity of others around you," Sai chastened, putting on the best-disappointed-dad face in the whole _world_. Sakura almost cried tears of hysterical gratefulness. "Anyway, the Hag and I are on our way to having unprotected sex."

"Yep." Sakura agreed, that was pushing it too far. But, you know, okay. "Sorry I missed your wedding. Sasuke-kun gave me a really hard time."

"That bastard." Naruto clenched his fists, "How far'd you chase him?"

"Well," Sakura cleared her throat and shrugged like it was all inconsequential, water under the bridge. Some people were just too cool to always be explaining themselves. "Across the continent, it was wild. I'd explain it to you but, well, you'd have to have been there."

"She told me that too," Sai informed them, her story checked out. "Well. See you two."

Naruto spluttered, remembering him and on the verge of triggering yet another irrational aneurysm. Hinata, tactful for being a stuttering mess of a female (what, she was _allowed_ to be salty) led him away with a quiet smile, Sakura watched him complain loudly, his head disappearing down the street whose inhabitants they'd thoroughly scandalized. His yells of rage were barely out of ear shot and Sakura was pretty sure she'd be known as the village slut by sundown but she turned to Sai. Dishevelled Sai who'd sort of helped her through what could have been the most excruciatingly, damning encounter of her life. Who'd kind of...helped her.

"Hey, Sai?"

He looked down at her, surprised. Sakura looked ahead, scowling so he wouldn't get any ideas about the mush her heart currently was. She felt happy, touched tears swarming at the back of her throat. "Thanks."

He frowned. "You look mad."

"I'm furious," She snapped, but kind of clamped a hand over her face for like five whole minuted before she could look up at him without tears in her eyes. "You're an idiot."

* * *

><p>"So," Naruto says and she near leaps out of her skin, goddamn Hiarashin-no-jutsu. The swing next to her is suddenly occupied and she glares balefully at him, "Heard you wanted to leave."<p>

Sakura makes a show of looking around, surreptitiously checking if she's the only one in the playground at midnight, because no way did Naruto actively seek _her_ out. "Weird, wait. There's no one else here. So that must mean that...You're talking to _me?"_

Naruto has the decency to look embarrassed, swinging back with a fitful kick of his feet. "Yeah, I deserve that."

"No excuses about being busy?" Sakura prompts sarcastically, "I don't know, being Hokage, family? Are you getting a fever?" When she reached out towards him to give his temples a patronizing temperature-check he flinches away from her. Sakura drops her hand, turns away from him and glares ahead getting ready to storm off, or start swinging high into the air, and swing away from this boring-circular conversation they keep havin every time they meet once in a millenium when the starts align and Naruto deigns to honor her with his presence. Fuck this guy. Last week he'd held her _hand_. "I don't know what could possibly compel you to come see lil' ol' me."

"Sakura - "

"Firstly, even if Sarada and I were leaving, it's none of your business - this'd be a decision that Sasuke and I, as her parents, have come upon. You might be fucking Hokage but last I checked you weren't her father."

She realizes what she's said only a brief second after it comes pouring vehemently out of her mouth. Sakura stills, shocked at her own audacity. Naruto's gone still too. Like she's hit a nerve, like he might leave. Well, if he leaves, it's nothing new, is it? It's just Naruto being Naruto -

"I'm her Uncle."

Sakura whips in her seat, chains twisting violently as she faces him. Sakura blinks, bewildered at him, like Naruto's said the darndest shit before, but this takes the fucking _cake_. "Excuse _you?_ What. Can you hear yourself right now?"

Naruto's features shadow with apocalyptic fury, it makes her heart bump up. Because Naruto's statements are not harmless, he doesn't say he's her Uncle to remind her of the situational blood ties, he's saying he's her Uncle like he has a right to Sarada's future. Like he has a _say_. She rises, her whole body shaking with the sort of raw fury she hasn't felt since _Sasori_. If Naruto's her Uncle, her _blood_-linked-Uncle, then who the fuck is _she?_

Naruto doesn't make excuses, doesn't explain it away. Doesn't say the same old, _I can protect her here._ The typical, it's dangerous for her, with her links to me and Sasuke - our enemies - _bullshit_. Naruto doesn't even_ explain_ himself. He has the nerve to come to her on his fucking highhorse and claim more right to her own daughter?

"I don't care if I didn't push her out of the womb," She says, her voice deathly in its levelness. "I'd bleed for that girl a thousand times over. She's my daughter. No ifs or buts about it, Hokage-sama."

Naruto stands up slowly, the swing rattling behind him. It's the setting of a storm waiting to start, the swingset stirring in the choked wind of a summer breeze, the cicadas holding their breath. Sakura knows her own strength, they face off. She'd never thought that one day she'd look at Naruto with so much betrayal and rage in her chest, to wonder just who the fuck gave him the _right_. He's bizarrely tall. She remembers the days when his hands were the same size as hers, those long-past years where he'd been just a few inches shorter, now she has to crane her neck back to keep level with him, has to look up to go toe-to-toe. He is a towering bastion, just like the ideal Hokage would be. She's small and pink, with ridiculous hair, but she's got enough wrath to blow him over a thousand times.

She wonders if it's going to come to a fight with Naruto. It's not like fights with Sasuke, Naruto and Sasuke fought each other the endless way a snake devoured its tail, nothing could stop that cycle, that was what their friendship was _built_ on. With Naruto a fight is something their relationship, already as pitiful as it was, could simply not recover from. Mostly because a part of her doubted he'd take her seriously which would injure her pride, and a part of her thought he might, which would speak volumes about just how far they'd fallen.

Mostly, she's angry because it's not her _fault_. She tried, she tried and she tried, she did _everything_. She made nice with his wife, she encouraged his children, she tried to be by his side as a friend, to help him _politically_ - but it was like as soon as the war ended he'd cut her off like she was some reprehensible tissue growth that he'd never had use for. She'd _tried_ to be Kakashi's advisor, had been turned away despite her _years_ of experience - she'd tried to help Naruto in _some_ capacity but Shikamaru had had that covered. She goddamned took Hinata shopping for clothes and ended up somehow encouraging her to pursue him _romantically?_ Sakura had done everything a friend was supposed to do, she'd done everything and _then_ some, and Naruto had the audacity to treat her like she was just an extension of Sasuke, shoving her off towards him, like she was just a place-holder, like she couldn't wither and wilt without his friendship. They were supposed to be there for each other.

"I'll talk with Sasuke," He says, like it's still up for negotiation. Talks of course in which her input is irrelevant and not required.

She sneers. "_I'll_ talk with Sasuke. What do you know about him anyway? He can't stand this place."

That digs, that reaches him. Naruto's eyes darken, his tone hard, the sort that doesn't brook any argument. "The solution isn't building his own hidden village."

"Can you_ hear_ yourself?" She throws out her arms, yell bursting in the empty playground. In this stupid, sleeping village. "Can you hear yourself talking? Who _are_ you? Do you have any idea what it's like for him to live in the shadow of this place? He's tried, Naruto - he has _tried_. This place is an open wound - "

"What's in the past is in the past -"

"Yeah, let's _not_ acknowledge the institutional corruption and bullshit that tore apart his clan. That shit happened _ages_ ago."

"Sakura, you're being hysterical."

She punches him in the face, not even bothering with chakra to harden the blow, to keep that barrier between her knuckles and his fucking face. Naruto takes it, turning his cheek in an attempt to cancel out half the impact - Sakura doesn't drop her fist, chest rising and falling with manical anger, Naruto's head is turned, his stillness would frighten anyone else. She hisses, _murderous_. "Don't you ever - _ever_ try to paint me like some crazy bitch, don't ever try to drown me out as irrational or unreasonable. Don't you goddamn _dare_."

He opens his jaw, testing out the ache. He pulls his head back up and looks down on her patiently. "Alright," he says, all reasonable and patronzing in his coolness. "Let's say Sasuke does create a hidden village - "

"You don't even _know_ that."

"He's a doujutsu user, every clan needs a base." He says like she's not already thought of this. Sakura was _breathing_ politics long before Naruto even got back to Konoha, who the fuck does he think she is? She's still gasping for breath, and they stand in the empty playground, like they're still _discussing_ this shit. "Sound is open to him. It's politically unstable, they're looking for a leader. Even if I gave Sasuke my blessings, the elders wouldn't allow it, they don't trust him - "

She looks at him with indignation, she can't help the step closer she takes, pleading. "But _you_ trust him."

"That's beside the point." Naruto tells her, softly, but not kind. Firm. "Sasuke can't become Otokage. Konoha will never recognize it as a Hidden Village."

"I can't even believe we're discussing this," Sakura says, thrown. "Naruto, you're the Hokage, with enough effort you can - " She stops, she looks into his eyes with horror mounting in her chest, his clairvoyant blue eyes. Of course, she's been so _stupid_. "This wouldn't have anything to do with the Hyuuga, would it?"

He doesn't move to deny it. Sakura cannot _believe_ - of course, five years into term and Naruto hadn't overturned the Bird Cage Seal like she'd expected. He'd come about and reasoned that every clan had a right to protect its secrets, as long as no one was being hurt. She'd been astounded but she hadn't had the authority to argue with him, to even be listened to.

Hiashi had made no secret of his mistrust towards the Uchiha clan, as a rival doujutsu clan it was hardly expected that he'd be an encouraging force in Sasuke's ambitions to rebuild his clan.

She looks at Naruto like she's seeing him for the first time. Even as he'd changed over the years, everything he did, everything she _saw_ of him was crowded by the twelve year old boy she remembered, that laughing, grinning face - she'd seen a shadow of him in this jaded, political man. She'd thought she had. She'd thought she still _could_, that she might endure and forgive him and believe that even when so much of him had changed one thing would always be certain. That Naruto cared, that he'd do the right thing.

The thing was that she was right, Naruto _did_ care, Naruto thought he was doing the right thing - had made prudent, political concessions for higher gains. Already the village was becoming a skyline of towering buildings, a wood in the shadow of some steel contraption, an urban setting out of some bizarre movie. They weren't a Village Hidden in the Leaves, they were an empire, crawling on its belly, devouring.

Sakura felt robbed. She felt like God had taken one look at her life and decided to twist its head off and put it on back wrong. Sasuke had become a decent human-being who'd felt the strains of being a long-distance father, who'd become her partner, who didn't have to love her to respect her - Sasuke was trying to pull his daughter out of this growling trap, and Naruto had become distant, cold, could no longer be understood or explained. Naruto had become _Hokage_.

She'd watched him make his own life, cut her out with criminal casualness. Avoid her, dismiss her. A thousand years ago he'd made her feel like she could accomplish anything, it was why she'd loved him. She'd wanted to be happy for him, it was why she'd kept quiet. She'd been fucked every which way by that decision.

"I thought I loved you," she burst out, laughing with rage trapped in her throat. "Eight years ago, I _loved_ you. I'm really glad you were too much of a coward to say anything. I'm really glad I didn't say anything either. All you ever treated me like was a piece of meat, a pawn. Pushing me away, pushing me toward's Sasuke, trying to control all of us - and I _let_ you."

Naruto straightened his spine, as if recovering from a blow.

Sakura shook her head in disbelief, her hair choppy around her ears. "I might not have had the authority to say anything to you about your piss-poor domestic policy, Naruto - but Sarada is a person you don't have _shit_ to do with." She dropped her arms, her shoulders squared. "Whatever scruples you and Sasuke are going through in the end it's my decision and his, whether it's to create a hidden village or sail all the way to Rain. It has nothing to do with you. That's the last I hear of this." She balled up her fist and moved past him, when he grabbed her arm she forced every bone in her body not to cave his skull into his stomach. She stared straight ahead, a fire in her belly, a fire that had hardened like a diamond, sharp and unbreakable.

"Last time you tried to leave," Naruto said quietly, softly, gently. "You were on your way to Suna and he dumped a pregnant woman in your lap, she died and you got to take care of his kid. He didn't even marry you. I was angry for you. I wanted to beat the living shit out of him. You were so - "

She whipped a flinty glare at him. "Don't talk to me like you know shit about what I've been though. You don't have the right to be angry on my behalf."

"But I was."

"You're a hundred years too late," Sakura bore her teeth, "Also, you're being so heavy-handed on the emotional manipulation that I'm embarrassed. I'm _embarrassed_ for you, Naruto. Don't pretend that any of our feelings suddenly matter to you. Now I know. Now I see everything. Saving Sasuke wasn't about saving Sasuke, it was about beating him. After you won you didn't even try to help him, he was banished from here, the crimes he'd been avenging treated like they were inconsequential. You disenfranchised him of his right to feel angry, you forgave him - Sasuke didn't _want_ your forgiveness, he wanted you to help him undo a wrong. Do you know what they said about you? That everything he had you _coveted_, his popularity, his fighting skills, even me. You're a shit dad and a shame to the boy I once knew. You're not a friend, Naruto - you're not even a teammate."

"You're speaking out of anger."

"Oh, I mean every word." Sakura jerked her arm out of his hold. Naruto was red in the face, like he's been kicked unexpectedly in the throat. "Good night, Hokage-sama."

When she drifted away from him she felt her heart move like it was made out of molten fire, all sick and furious behind her ribs, dripping each part of her in golden wrath. She went home to her sleeping daughter, she tucked the blankets securely around her and knew that there were some things she just wouldn't compromise on. If Naruto was foolish enough to obstruct them, then she wouldn't let a confrontation end in words and walk away to distance herself from any it ever came down to it, she could fight Naruto.

She would fight and she wouldn't lose.


End file.
